Today is my marriage anniversary and small get together of close family friends has been organized as usual, as has been practice over the past 16 years. Ruchi, sitting in the corner Sofa in a pink sari is looking as gracious as she looked when I saw her the first time draped in pristine white. Sitting in the other corner, on another Sofa I can also see Jhontu engrossed in animated conversation with a few other friends of mine, whereas his wife Mona alias Ipshita, as elegant as ever, is quietly directing the servants serving food and beverages, to attend to the guests who apparently have remain unattended so far. The evening party has now long entered into the night and suddenly I realized that Chandan, my son is nowhere to be seen. Perplexed, I get up and intuitively move toward the staircase. Ipshita, without even as much as casting a look towards me cordially informs me in monotone that Chandan has been put to sleep by her.
Suddenly, I see Ruchi sitting in the corner, has started rocking from side to side and mumbling to herself. I immediately move next to her and I put my hands softly around her shoulder, reassuring her of my presence. She just stares back at me blankly but stops swaying & moaning. Suddenly the memories of yester years come flooding back to my mind and I am once again forced to introspect into my life.
I am Satyand Bose alias Shekher, around fortyish and belong to an upper middle class family. I have been boisterous and out going person since my childhood or since the time I can remember things. Juxtaposed to my character is Jayant Mukherjee alias Jhontu, who has been buddy and an anchor for me through out my life. We have are school time friends and even today he means more to me than anything else that materially matters in this whole world. He has always tried to restrain me from going ahead with my outrageous schemes and ideas, thus acting like a soothing balm on my frayed thought process.
I vividly remember the day when I met Ruchi her for the first time. We were a group of 10 to 15 boys who cared a hoot for anyone’s’ feeling or respect their individual sensibility. We would go all out for getting our out riotous plans in place without a hint of bother regarding loss caused to anyone’s property or pride. Around 16 years back when this incident took place, we were associated with the then current rage for road biking, to us it appeared very healthy and adventurous sport then, but on hind sight today, I feel that what we did then was totally immoral. We used to zip around in groups on our bikes and would deliberately damage fancy car side glass, car window, headlights, tail-lights or whatever else that took to our fancy. We would go for the swankiest of vehicles as target or beautifully painted hoardings etc. to spray them with our paint-cans. All these stupid activities give us an instant high and we considered ourselves to be the Lords of the ether World. This nuisance got to get bigger with each passing week and finally the long hands of law caught up with us. Looking unto our family background, the judge of the court in which we appeared, who was himself a middle aged person assigned us to perform social work in form of kar seva in the Gurudawaras. Since it was a Hobson’s choice, we were prudent enough to undertake the task to perform kar seva, instead of passing time behind the bars. However, this shock was not enough to jolt us out of the stupor that we were in and a few days after having completed the assigned social work we were back into business of creating nuisance, but albeit being a bit more discreet. However, as fate would have it and as destined according to the theory of karma we were again hauled up before the court for a second time. Being a small place, this time around the matter was listed before the same learned judge who had presided over the matter at the first instance. However, this time around he was in no mood to show leniency of any kind and we felt that he would impose a very heavy penalty upon us. On hind sight I feel today that maybe? again maybe? but it seems plausible now, that our parents somehow prevailed upon the learned Judge and must have begged for a little leniency. The Judge in his pronouncement gave us a final opportunity to redeem ourselves, but we were assigned to work in mental asylums spread across various parts of the state in groups of four. Accordingly, I was directed to do my penance in small mental asylum in Gaya
This is the place where I saw Ruchi for the first time. On the second day of our arrival, we were acclimatizing ourselves in the new environs and the place was suffocating as every work went on as clock work. This confinement to space & time was against our ethos and we had started getting restless even before the first twenty four hours had lapsed. Ruchi appeared like a whiff of fresh air, clad in a white sari carrying red flowers and offering puja at the small make shift temple. The entire scenario was perplexing, a beautiful petite woman inside an asylum, offering puja? My attention got diverted from my state of affairs and the focus shifted upon to this lady in white. Affront, which was thy other name, I immediately went ahead and confronted this poor soul piling her under a barrage of questions as to who she was? What was she doing in an asylum? What was her name? and much more. Terrified, she threw her belongings on the ground and ran inside as fast she could and this was my first encounter with Ruchi.
During my stay in the asylum I slowly gained her confidence, initially more out of curiosity rather than compassion. She was a very docile creature whose parents had been snatched away by cruel hands of fate at a tender age and she was forced to live with her maternal uncle albeit in her own family home. But as she grew older and was nearing the age of legal maturity, her maternal uncle, because of the family wealth started conspiring to get her eliminated through a series of accidents. She somehow survived these incidents and according to her, this was through the divine intervention of her lost parent’s souls. She understood that in case she survived longer, the threat to her life would become larger and having read in a book that insane people cannot inherit property, as an excuse to extend her life span, she had started acting thus. For her maternal uncle this was a god sent opportunity and he immediately transferred her to this asylum. She further told me that her maternal uncle kept the Warden in good humor, by passing on underhand privileges, in order to keep her confined there and for her this was just fine.
At first I did not believe her story and being inquisitive started prodding around and received admonition from other staffers verbally at first and by clandestine beatings later. This instead of diminishing my intent made me all the more resolute, to rescue the damsel in distress. But when my day of departure from the asylum came, I was asked to continue due to bad behavior and only then did I realize the true face & nature of the Chief Warden. Either he was not intent upon letting out his little secret, being apprehensive of my intentions or else wanted his pound of flesh to let go off the other. When the deliberate activities to confine me within the precincts of the asylum became evident, I started becoming more restive, unlike Ruchi who would console me and assure me that my family was out there to seek and salvage help for me. In the meanwhile, I had smuggled out a petition written & signed by Ruchi to the Judicial authorities for help. Accordingly, the Chief Warden was informed of the impending visit, though purpose was not stated. Apprehending that it was my handiwork, he increased his abuse but despite Ruchi persuading me to keep my cool, I had lost my head and become belligerent. Ruchi informed me that the senior authorities were due to visit the coming Friday and all would be over then. I somehow restrained myself till Friday, but had put forth a clause that in case no one turned up, we both would make a run for it. On the destined date, I kept a vigil on my own but till late in the afternoon no one turned up, I asked Ruchi to accompany me in the breakout, but she dithered saying that she had faith in me & her gods. Around 4.00 P.M. I made my break and called Ruchi to accompany me, as I was crossing the corridor, she shouted out to me that she could hear the noise of vehicles approaching and that we should wait. But I was in no mood to oblige, as the entire lot of guards were stationed in the front side to receive the VIP protocol and the moment being opportune, I walked out of the door slamming the door behind. Ruchi in two minds, tried first to go back and then ran after me, but by the time the door had slammed shut automatically and she could not make it.
After going out, I immediately contacted our family lawyer and an urgent petition was prepared and presented in the court for hearing on emergent basis. Hearing out my contentions and the supporting evidence provided by my friends, the learned Judge immediately pronounced the order to release Ruchi. However, on reaching the asylum I could not recognize Ruchi, her face had turned ashen, hairs frayed, drooling and in a stupor, despite my repeated attempts to communicate with her, she did not respond to my calls but kept on mumbling “Shekhar take me with you”. I was crestfallen, the damsel I had sought to rescue like a ‘Knight in Shining Armour’ had been lost due to my own irresponsible act. Later, I came to know that the officer scheduled to visit the asylum was late, as his vehicle had developed a snag midway and my having abandoned Ruchi in this manner had snapped the last twig that she had been holding on to and she had fallen down deep into the ravine of depression, so suddenly that she actually lost her mental balance. This was the analysis offered to me by one of the Psycratists with whom I had met later and discussed her case with.
The boisterous Shekhar had been left behind confined in the asylum, locked inside with his guilt & selfishness. Now nothing material mattered to me anymore, neither good food nor clothing not even the company of beautiful Ipshita, in whose company I had always felt like being in heaven. With each passing day I continued to regress into a cocoon and slowly became socially ostracized. This is when Jhontu stepped in, he became my anchor and would spend hours together to boost up my flagging spirit. My mother would cry out in lament hurling curses at her bad luck and my father too withdrew into a shell and the only sane life line in our family that remained, as steady as ever, was Jhontu. He slowly cajoled me out of labyrinth I had woven myself into but try as I may, the languid eyes of Ruchi would haunt me forever & wherever I went. I knew now as to where my penance would begin and the first thing I did was to get a word of honour from Jhontu that he would marry Ipshita. When I broke this piece of news to Ipshita, she flew into a rage and cursed my very being, she retorted that she did not require any of my advice regarding her life, as she was mature enough to look after herself. I explained to her that I was again being selfish as ever and seeking the union for my own benefit. I further told her that I intended to marry Ruchi, to complete my penance for the wrong caused to her, knowingly or unknowingly. She kept quite for sometime and finally agreed stating that she understood my feeling and also that without this I could never rest in peace or forgive myself. After Jhontu married Ipshita, I too married Ruchi. In her languid moments Ruchi remembers her past and expresses her joy at my being on her side, but most of the times she is still lost in her own world but never disturbs anyone. My mother, resigned to her fate & faith, was happy that she had atleast got her son back, but when my son Chandan was born, both my parents got a fresh lease of life and Ipshita is his god mother. I am performing my Kar Seva* & penance to improve my Karma for the next life as per Hindu beliefs.
Kar Seva - It is a kind of voluntary social work undertaken by Sikhs in Gurdwaras and comprise of mundane works like cleaning of visitors shoes, preparing meals for langar (community lunch), cleaning of Gurdwara premises etc.
(This is a pure piece of fiction any resmblance of names or places etc. is purely incidental)
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